


Amare Speculae

by KiroAngel



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Soulmate Potion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-19
Updated: 2014-06-13
Packaged: 2018-01-25 17:01:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1655846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiroAngel/pseuds/KiroAngel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Severus had spent the last sixteen years formulating this potion. He had worked it through two wars, the loss of a true friend and many fake ones, and his own vile deeds in the name of secret intelligence. Now, he could finally test Amare Speculae upon himself. The soulmate revealing potion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Amare Speculae

**Author's Note:**

> AN: I wrote this a while ago. And I never actually finished it... But what the hell. I'm writing the last chapter as we speak, so I will finally have my first finished multi-chapter fic. Can I hear a "woot-woot"?
> 
> This ought to be updated every weekend, just like my others... Hopefully.
> 
> Anyway, no I do not own any of JK Rowling's characters or plot or anything else you might recognize here.
> 
> Enjoy, bros!
> 
> ~Kiro

Severus allowed a light smirk to play over his features as he looked over his notes and finished potion with satisfaction. He carefully ladled exactly one half liter into a shallow porcelain dish, watching as the pearlescent liquid spread over the plate, creating a mirrored surface in the harsh light of his personal dungeons lab.

This was the potion that Severus had been developing. It had taken him the last sixteen years, ever since Lily died, to perfect it, but he had finally made it. The war had ground Severus' work nearly to a halt, but he had been determined to finish before he died, if only for Lily. That was probably one of the main reasons he was alive here and now, having persevered in the face of death to finish this one last thing for his sister figure. Here he was, nearly a year after he had been so close to death in the final battle, with his goals accomplished.

Snape had already written, finished, edited, and tweaked the article detailing the potion's purpose, processes, theory, and future applications. Currently the massive thing was sitting on the desk of multiple publishers around the wizarding world, as many as he was able to contact.

The recipe of the potion was tricky, filled with as many switchbacks and precision, intuitiveness and formula, frustration and beauty as the potion's purpose itself. The ingredients were not particularly rare, nor were they common. The prices would most likely go up, though, as soon as the article breached the market. It was the perfect potion, in Severus' opinion.

As well it should be. He developed it, fueled by his own desire, desperation, and guilt. The complicated potion was incredibly delicate yet tenacious. The trick was not to follow directions exactly, but to listen to one's intuition and one's heart when making the finicky concoction. It was a work of art, both in craft, appearance, and function.

Severus stared at his pearlescent reflection. _Amare Speculae_ was his life's work. And now he was going to test it on himself.

He wasn't sure he would like what he saw in the mirror, but Snape told himself that he would accept whoever the potion showed him. After all, if it was the person he had in mind and his repressed feelings were, in fact, correct, then Severus would be relieved. He would have finally got it right after so long. If not, then he would go to this other being that the reflection showed to him. He couldn't afford to be picky this late in life, not with a history, reputation, and appearance as he had.

No, the "who" was not the fear that Severus held foremost in his mind. He feared an empty image, the absence of a face. Then he would surely die inside, when he had persevered through so much and bore so much weight and hate through the years. An empty reflection would finally break that last tenacious thread to sanity that remained.

But no, that would not happen. Severus had spent half of his life on this potion and hell of he wasn't going to put it to good use. He drew in a breath, held it, and released it. Snape blinked one more time at his reflection, gathered his courage, and lifted his left arm.

A tiny silver knife drew over the meat of Severus' left thumb and blood ran down the appendage. A single burgundy drop fell into the liquid mirror, sending ripples of pale red through the milky substance.

Severus held his breath as he stared at the surface. A moment passed, then two, then three. And just as Severus was about to turn away, an image floated to the surface of the pinkish pool. The scent of grass, wood, and lemon oil wafted to Severus' nose as bright green eyes warmly regarded him. Dark curls obscured a lightning scar and tannish skin beckoned Severus to the image, to come to this conclusion with utmost certainty.

Snape took one step back, then another. He took one deep breath and stepped forward again to watch as the potion evaporated in waves, fog lifting heavily from the dish until the pool had shrunk to a drop, only one twinkle of green iris visible, then it vanished. Gone.

Severus sank to his knees as the fog of the soulmate revelation potion danced around him, the dungeon breeze playing cruel games with the mist, just as the mist played cruel games with his heart.


	2. Detention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry manages to, by some miracle, make a potion correctly. He just makes the wrong potion. Que the detention!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Yes, again with my soulmate fic. I swear I'm in some sort of misshapen rut of bonds and mates. Oh, well. It can't be that bad.
> 
> So the next chappie! We get a little Harry in this one, so buckle up for a bumpy ride.
> 
> Enjoy, bros!
> 
> ~Kiro

Harry slung his pack into the bed and threw himself down next to it, heaving a heavy sigh. His detention was in an hour, so he couldn't take a long nap, but he could damn well try to doze for the next fifty minutes.

He had a detention with Snape. However, this time Harry couldn't blame the man for the punishment. Harry had added the Firedrake venom a bit too early and stirred a bit too late. Along with about five other mistakes that he had made earlier in the process of brewing Rash Inducer in class, this proved disastrous. Harry had been just about to slip his stirring rod into the cauldron when it huffed out a mushroom cloud, singeing the curls covering his forehead. He was left with a pot of boiling tar spouting four foot tall flames of a vibrant crimson.

The substance was unbanishable, thanks to some other ingredient (Harry really hadn't been paying attention), and the flames wouldn't go out, so the potions lab now had a flaming cauldron as a fixture in one corner of the room. It was quite beautiful, in a way, once you got past the bright crimson colour and the fact that they were flames coming from a rusted and filthy cauldron.

Snape had gone on a bit of a rant, but Harry hadn't processed a word. He was too busy admiring the fearsome, powerful expression and the loud, deep, sneering rumble of the man's voice. His shoulders evened out and drew back in a powerful display of posturing, showing off his broad chest and wide shoulders. The man's eyes blazed like black fire from his sockets, burning into the subject of his gaze. It was the most powerful, attractive, soul-catching thing Harry had ever seen.

The professor was quite a sight when angry, even more so when furious. In fact, now that he thought about it, Harry saw that the man had acted more affected by this mistake than any other explosion or dangerous potions accident he had been witness to. It was a bit odd. Why would this, a simple flaming cauldron, make Snape so interminably angry?

Harry absently cast a tempus spell and gave a start. He had five minutes to get down to the dungeons, which was a ten minute walk. He sprang from the bed and ran through the common room, waving away the questions voiced by his housemates. Reaching the portrait, he slammed it open and sprang down the hallway.

~

Harry made it to the dungeons in seven minutes, huffing and puffing as though he had run a marathon on Everest. He skidded to a stop at the doorway, took three deep breaths, and raised his hand to knock.

"Are you going to stand there breathing like a half-drowned dragon or are you going to come in, Potter?"

Harry gave a start at he sound of the potion master's voice and pulled the door open. He managed to almost trip on his own shadow at the doorway but caught himself, making his way cautiously to the front of the room, head bowed in embarrassment.

Snape was standing before his desk, one hip propped up against it and his arms folded on his chest. He wore an amused and exasperated expression, one eyebrow high on his forehead and his lips playing with a slightly predatory smirk.

"Still as clumsy as ever, I see. You are late. What, prey tell, is your excuse for tardiness this time?"

Harry raised his eyes from his feet to gaze at his professor, then froze them there, astonished at the attractive look of warm amusement there. Harry found it slightly terrifying that it was there at all. After all, malicious Potions Masters were NOT supposed to do anything warmly. After a few moments the eyebrow rose again and Harry shook his head, looking away.

"Sorry, sir. I merely lost track of time- er, studying."

"Yes, studying, obviously, because _you_ always do lose yourself in studying."

Harry winced inwardly, but held Snape's gaze as the teacher observed him.

"Very well. I actually wanted to congratulate you. You seem to have created one of the most difficult potions for one to brew with common ingredients, the Everburning Elixer, by mistake. I am not sure why the gods hold you in such high esteem, Potter, but you should savor it while you may."

Harry's jaw fell open. It seemed that today would never cease to surprise him. First, he set his bangs on fire, then he lost track of time thinking about Snape of all people, then it turned out that he had brewed an extremely difficult potion on accident, and to top it all off, Snape vaguely complimented him. At potions. Harry felt about ready to pass out from the shock of it.

"While I would prefer that you construct the _class_ potions _in_ class on _purpose_ , the only scruples I have in this instance are over lab safety. No leaning over cauldrons, Potter, especially not after adding flammable ingredients. And for Merlin's sake, Potter, learn the difference between Talcam root and immature mandrake."

Harry blinked. No, no, this wasn't possible. This was a dream or a hallucination. Yes, that was it, his potion had spouted toxic fumes and he was lying in the hospital wing at that very moment. That was it.

"Please tell me you're a hallucination. Because the only other option is that you've gone insane and I quite like the current you, thank you very much."

Severus blinked. A smirk slid onto his face and he raised a single eyebrow in a skeptical expression.

"I realize that I do not compliment you often, Potter, but that does not mean that I am a hallucination. I assure you that I am quite real. Though perhaps you would prefer that I go back to insulting you with every other word?"

Harry shook his head slowly, still staring in disbelief at his professor.

"No, no, no need. Although I am curious as to why the sudden change. If you didn't call me here to yell at me then what _am_ I here for?"

Snape looked off into the classroom and sighed.

"Have you read the Daily Prophet lately, Mr. Potter?"

Harry blinked, thrown by the seemingly random change of subject.

"Uh, no, I generally try to avoid the papers."

Severus nodded, turning back to fully face his student.

"Well if you had read the Daily Prophet this morning you would have noticed that the front page article detailed a newly developed potion."

Harry resisted the urge to snort. It just figured that the man would bring up potions in a perfectly normal conversation.

"The potion is called Amare Speculae. Do you know what that means, Mr. Potter?"

Harry searched his memory for the meaning of the words. At length, he found it.

"I means 'love mirror', right?"

He received a small, distracted nod in return.

"Correct, Mr. Potter. Amare Speculae is a recently developed potion that reveals the brewer's soulmate. Its formula has only just been released to the public. However, I, as the developer of the potion, have been able to brew the perfected potion before then."

Snape stopped to peer at Harry, studying his face. Harry, for his part, felt confused and astounded. Snape, the nasty, greasy git who would sooner spout twenty acidic words than one complimentary, the one who some had bet didn't even know the definition of "love", had developed a soul-deep-love potion. Harry blinked.

"Wait, sir, you developed a soul mate potion? If I may ask, why?"

Severus sighed, eyes flickering once more over Harry's figure.

"It was a joint project, between your mother and I before she died. She and I made each other promise that if one of us perished in the war the other would continue the research. It took me sixteen years since her death, but I managed to perfect the potion just recently."

Harry drew in a breath, surprised. He had seen Snape's memories. He knew that the man and Harry's mother were friends in school and that Snape had loved his mother. He did not know that the two had worked together. That seemed almost more intimate than anything else that the two could have done. Snape was, by nature, a solitary creature. Anyone who interfered with his work would be reduced to ashes in seconds. For Snape to have trusted and worked alongside Lily, the two must have been closer than Harry had realized. Much closer. And that Lily could extract a promise such as that from Snape, well, that was incredible.

"Wow. I had no idea, sir."

"Of course you don't. I had no wish for you to."

The tall, older man turned away to look through the window, lost in memories. After a few moments, Harry was compelled to say something.

"I'm sure that she's proud of you, sir. Where she is. She's proud of your dedication, and that you kept your promise."

The professor sighed.

"Yes. Yes, I suppose she would be."

"But, sir, you didn't call me down here to talk about my mother. What is it, then, about this potion that you developed."

The older man turned and Harry once more found himself beneath that heavy onyx gaze. It weighed down on him, pressing with a passionate heat as it examined every square inch of his being. Harry found himself straightening under that study, drawing himself to his full height. The Potion Master's gaze landed on his eyes.

"I tested the potion on myself. Amare Speculae works by scrying the image of one's soulmate onto the surface of the potion. The potion evaporates rapidly, emanating the scent of the soulmate as well as evoking a certainty and knowing that this certain person is the brewer's one true love."

Snape had looked away as he spoke and now drew his eyes back to meet Harry's green ones.

"Would you like to know whom I saw in that image, Harry Potter?"


	3. Discussion

Harry took a deep breath and thought. This was the reason why Professor Snape had asked him down here today, or at least part of the reason. Therefore Harry should play along, ask who the man saw in the image. But Harry didn't know if he would like what he heard. He liked, admired, respected Snape. Harry could definitely say that he cared about this man's opinion of him and that he wanted this man to be happy. What if Snape thought Harry nosy if he asked? No, if that happened Snape would merely shoot him down with an acidic comment as always and go on as if Harry had not asked.

Somewhere in the background of Harry's mind, a tiny voice asked _what happens when it isn't you?_ Harry turned on it, grabbed it, stuffed it in a box in the back of his head, wrapped the box in chains, and flung it in a soundproof room. Somehow a sliver escaped and slithered around his mind, casting hurt around his brain. He ignored it, as well as his violent overreaction, and before he could regret his decision, gave a sharp nod.

"If you feel it is appropriate, sir, then yes. I would like to know."

Snape smirked, eyes gaining an 'I-told-you-so' glint.

"Of course you would. Very well, Mr. Potter, it is pertinent that you know the truth. It is important that you know this, and I must tell you."

The professor took a deep, steeling breath, closing his eyes tightly. He appeared to be psyching himself up for his next words, and Harry began to feel worry clutching at his chest. Before he could say something, however, the man opened his eyes again, this time in a narrowed gaze.

"It was you, Potter."

Silence reigned as Harry blinked.

"Me?"

Apparently his brain had shorted out.

"Yes, you, Potter."

"Me?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Do you think I would joke over such a thing, Potter?"

"But... But why?"

"It is the soul, Potter. No one but the soul knows the soul's motives. I can think of the reasons why my ego is attracted to you, but I shan't inflate your head even more by listing them."

Harry blinked again.

"But... What about my mother? I thought you were in love with her?"

Severus nodded stoically.

"Yes, Harry, I loved your mother. I was not, however, in love with her. She was the first person that I truly loved and who truly loved me back, unconditionally. We had our bumps, yes, but we loved each other with a bond stronger than brother and sister, yet no more romantic. At least, we did before it snapped in fifth year, and the bond revived after graduation, when we started working on Amare Speculae."

Harry's eyes softened with understanding as he nodded slowly. Confusion made its way back onto his brow, though, and he asked another question.

"Isn't this a bit odd for you? I mean, I'm your student, your sister figure's son, and twenty years your junior, not to mention we've been at each other's throats for the last eight years. Doesn't that give you doubts?" He eyed his teacher warily.

"That is exactly the reason why I did not attempt to inform you before now. There are many obstacles, even if you were to be interested in me. I would think that it would be even harder for you. I am, as you said, twenty years your senior, your professor, and your mother's brother figure. On top of that, we despised each other for the first years of your schooling, even though I obviously no longer do. I must appear a dirty pedophile to you, preying on young boys twenty years younger than me. However, the soulmate bond trumps such obstacles. If you would accept me, we might, perhaps, engage in a relationship of sorts. We still may not do anything illegal, but there would be less opposition to the entire operation."

Harry shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably, thinking, before he pushed his hair out of his eyes and peered up at Severus.

"Well, what did you have in mind? What did you think would happen when you called me in here, sir?"

Severus lit up a self-deprecating smirk.

"Honestly? I thought you would have hexed me into St. Mungo's by now, or run out screaming to the papers about your pedophile potions professor. This situation would be bad enough if I had obvious merits. As it is, I cannot think of any reasons why you haven't done any such thing. Why?" The man turned to look Harry dead on. "Why are you still here, Potter?"

Harry took a long look at his Professor, the man he was supposedly the soulmate of. He didn't know if that meant that the bond was automatically reciprocated, but as he looked on Harry thought that, at least in this situation, it might be.

The man said he had no obvious merits, but Harry had to beg to differ. Severus' height and presence made him seem powerful and mysterious, alluring. He had aristocratic features, not handsome, no, not with those crooked teeth and aquiline nose, but attractive in their own manner. He had aged prematurely, lines engraved into his face, but Harry knew that with time after the war those would smooth out. Eventually, Severus would show a more serenely arrogant countenance than the bitterly depressed one the man currently displayed. The man's body was broad-shouldered, accentuated by his billowing robes, and beneath them Harry was certain lay beautiful, lithe musculature.

That was only the physical portion of the man. There was so much more to him, his courage and strength, the man's work ethic, his personality, and more, so much more that lay yet undiscovered. He was cruel, yes, and had hardly any social skills or desire for social interaction, but he had good qualities that sought to balance those.

Severus was courageous, the most courageous man that Harry knew, that the world knew, and he wasn't even a Gryffindor. He worked in subtle ways, smart and cunning, to find the places and ways to work to get the most benefit. He was hard-working and never gave up, even in the face of death and defeat. He was genuinely good, so good that he could do horrible things at great cost to himself and his own sanity in order to reach the better conclusion, in order to do the better thing. He never let the things he did break him, even.

Snape was witty and intelligent. His humor was black and subtle, but it was very much hilarious to one who knew how to find it. He was wry and never smiled, and was constantly surprising Harry. Severus was the saddest character, with the saddest life story that Harry had ever heard, and this made the student just want to push this amazing, strong man to improve his own life, and to take him by the hand and give him happiness. Which Harry could do. Right now. In this office.

Harry jerked back to reality, realizing that he had been silent for much too long. He looked up into a concerned Potions Master's face before the emotion drained once more from the man's affect. Harry gave an apologetic smile.

"Sorry about that. What were we on? Why I was here?"

"Yes, Potter, before you decided to gallivant off to dream land I asked why you were still here and why I wasn't in St. Mungo's."

With a smile, Harry turned and placed his hands gently on Severus' shoulders, then looked up into his soulmate's eyes. He leaned forward and up and gently pecked the taller man on the lips, a small and sweet, lingering kiss.

"I am here, Severus, because I think that you are right. I think that we could be soulmates. You are the most amazing, strong, courageous, cunning, attractive, humorous man I have ever met. Even the thought of being with you gives me joy. I think that, if you indeed love me as you say you do, we were made for one another."

Severus stared down in shock at this younger man who had shaken his world so. He had never believed that, of all the outcomes, this would be the one to take place. His ego was caught in shock and awe and joy as his Id whooped in excitement and danced around his being. He gulped, wet his lips where moments before another pair had met his, and tried for words.

"So you would... Not be adverse to engaging in a romantic relationship with me?"

Harry grinned, amused by the other's reaction.

"I am hardly as apathetic as all that, sir. I would like nothing better in the world than to 'engage in a romantic relationship' with you."

Hearing that, a slow, genuine, rarely-used smile spread across Severus' face.


	4. Breaking When Mended

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus fixes things where they aren't broken... Or tries to break them as they are mending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I'm sorry for the lack of updates. I've really been focusing on We Feel Like Monsters because I've been in that kind of mood and I didn't feel like I would be able to write the next part without it being too light and trespassing into crack zone. I've seen serious stories do that and it is not pretty. So I waited until I could take Amare Speculum seriously. I thought you all would appreciate that.
> 
> I'm not even sure what I did with this or why. I had this scene that I desperately wanted to fit in here somewhere, so I... did. Just kind of smashed it in there. It's a bit sappy now, and we all know Severus does not do sappy, but he does do insecure so it might work out. You never know.
> 
> Anyway, the next chapter. Fun day.
> 
> ~Kiro

Things changed for both of them, then. Not in public, of course. In public Severus was a slightly lower grade of malicious than he was in the war. Harry still had Potions with his Severus, and Snape still acted as professional as he always had. That is, he still insulted everyone constantly, clearly favored certain students, and tried his hardest to make everyone suffer. But he no longer treated Harry with particular malice, instead placing him under the medium umbrella of "default level hate".   
  
As the time worked its way through January, Harry was kept up at nights thinking about Severus. He was certain that he would have had dark circles under his eyes had he not been using a glamor, and he kept falling asleep in odd places. He just couldn't help it though, he couldn't stop thinking about his soulmate and ended up staying up past four most nights. He was constantly tired, but now he lived for potions.   
  
Harry was still miserable at potions. The only difference between the new potions classes and the old were that now Severus stopped him /before/ he ruined his potions.   
  
The first time that Snape had silently crept up behind Harry, looked over his shoulder, and muttered "I hope that you aren't about to put those seasoned Hedgehog quills in before the required 37 seconds, Potter," Harry had nearly jumped out of his skin. He had carefully withdrew the hand holding the quills and looked back at the professor. The man raised an eyebrow at his incredulous expression and turned to stalk over to Neville. A slow smile spread over Harry's face as he turned back to the cauldron, ignoring the dropped jaws of the people surrounding him.   
  
That also happened to be the first day that Harry received a detention since their talk. Somehow, despite Snape's warnings, he had managed to spoil his potion. Looking at the vial of yellow-green goo, Snape raised an unimpressed eyebrow.   
  
"How you manage to make such mistakes, Potter, I will never understand. Detention tonight, be at my office at eight pm exactly." His robes brushed against Harry's arm as he stalked away, and Harry was caught in a confusing mix of anger, jubilation, and wonder. Harry tried to scowl at his friends as they grumbled about the grumpy potions master, but he feared he only succeeded in looking like a sulking puppy.   
  
A few hours later, at precisely 8:03 pm, Harry knocked on the door to Snape's office. Harry had been detained by quidditch practice and had fallen asleep in the shower. Not the most comfortable sleeping position, as he could testify, and he had barely had time to throw clothes on before he ran down to the dungeons. Currently, his clothes were soaked through and his right side had a horrible cramp. But he was here, and he was half-excited and half-dreading this detention. At the call to come in, he entered.   
  
"You are late. Again. One would think that you didn't want to see- why in Merlin's name are you dripping all over the floor?"  
  
Harry looked down at himself, scattering more droplets from his hair. He was, indeed, dripping onto the floor. Harry ran a hand through his hair, squeegeeing more liquid onto the flagstones.   
  
"I, uh, fell asleep in the shower after practice. Sorry I'm late, but I just had enough time to throw on some clothes and get down here. And sorry about the mess as well."  
  
Harry shivered in the cool dungeon breeze, looking apologetically at Snape. With a sigh, the other man lifted his wand and cast a warming and drying spell at the boy. Harry smiled gratefully.   
  
"Thanks, Severus. I- I can call you that, right? Since we aren't in class? And you should call me Harry."  
  
Severus regarded Harry carefully, weighing pros and cons.   
  
"I suppose that would be acceptable."  
  
Harry looked up to Severus and back away, staring at the flaming cauldron that was now the room's primary heat source.   
  
"So... Detention. Am I going to do the usual cauldron scrubbing or..."  
  
He trailed off, looking to Snape hopefully. /Please, oh please, be nice now./  
  
The other man shook his head and Harry let out a silent sigh of relief.   
  
"No. I have realized that... I have never been the greatest teacher. I should have found ways to help you to a level far above the one you are at now, however, I did exactly the opposite. I have decided to fix my mistakes and help you to reach a higher level in potions. Besides, as a potions master I would lose all prestige were my student and soulmate to blow up a lab whenever they go near a cauldron."  
  
Harry's eyes widened. He had not been expecting this. A make-out session, hardly, a cauldron scrubbing, maybe, a lecture, probably, but he had never expected tutoring. As far as Harry knew, Snape had never offered private help to anyone but his own Slytherins. This was new and unexpected. It made Harry feel excited and apprehensive and fuzzy inside.   
  
"Ah... Alright. I- uh- thank you, Severus. I didn't expect this, but I appreciate it. Thank you."  
  
Severus nodded and smirked.   
  
"I can see that you do not have your materials with you. Luckily for you, I always have an extra student textbook. Rest assured that it is without my notes in the margins."  
  
Harry blushed and nodded, pulling up a chair to the desk.   
  
The study session went surprisingly well. Severus was relatively free of his asshole persona in the absence of other students, and Harry was able to concentrate on only the man before him. He communicated better with the man, asking for explanations and details that he hadn't gotten in the stripped-down classroom lectures.   
  
At first Harry had feared that the individual lesson would bring out the enmity between the two again, but Severus seemed to work cautiously to avoid just that. Once, halfway through the session, Harry had to ask the man to just loosen up and, surprisingly, he did. Harry was able to see Severus' wit for what it was, wit, and not a personal attack against himself meant to harm him. The entire thing went extremely well, and by the end of the lesson both men were pleasantly surprised with how well they had worked together.   
  
"So... we're going to do this again?"  
  
Severus nodded, thinking.   
  
"Yes. While this session went well, if was hardly enough to make you sufficient in potions. Might I suggest Mondays and Wednesdays at eight? I would also like to meet Fridays for more... personal rendezvous, if you would be amenable."  
  
Harry beamed. Snape was asking to spend personal time with him outside of schoolwork! Oh, how wonderful it was!  
  
"That sounds great! I'll have to tell my friends that it's all remedial potions, but I would love to do that!"  
  
Severus grimaced.   
  
"Ah, yes, the Golden Trio. I take it you have not told them of our... relationship?"  
  
Harry nodded solemnly.   
  
"Yeah. I'm kind of afraid of what Ron would do if he were to find out now. I want to wait until graduation to tell everyone. Well, I'm sure that Hermione already suspects something. She keeps giving me these looks, like she's staring into my soul and she's smug about what she sees."  
  
Severus nodded with a grimace.   
  
"Yes, the girl always was too smart for her own good. And I concur with you about not telling the general populous until your graduation. It would be much... safer for both of us if we were not to get in any more trouble with the law. As such..."  
  
~  
  
Something occurred to Severus then, and he looked away.   
  
He knew that this was too good to be true. And the laws just proved it, didn't it? After all, laws were made for a reason. Severus had broken enough rules in his day to know that they always had very good motives behind them and very bad consequences for breaking them.   
  
Besides, this couldn't be what Harry wanted. He was a young thing, full of life, and he deserved freedom. He didn't really want to tie himself down to Severus, and the seventeen-year-old would learn that in time. He didn't want some old, ugly, bitter man with a bad life and a dark past. Harry deserved someone better, sweeter, more attractive, and Harry would come to realize it in time. All he needed was a chance to see...  
  
"We... In order to remain within the bounds of law, we must not engage in any... physical aspects of a relationship until your schooling is over. I... I understand that men, especially those as young as you, have needs and... as I have no means of-"   
  
~  
  
Harry, confused and worried, stopped Severus' halting words with a touch, turning the other man's face to gaze into his eyes.   
  
"Severus. What are you saying?"  
  
The other man sighed.   
  
"You can be with other people in the meantime, Harry. I do not wish to stop you from enjoying your last year of school by keeping you bound to me. We should wait to engage in a relationship until you graduate, at the least. You might, also, find some other lad more suitable than me and I would fully understand-"  
  
No. No, this couldn't be happening. Not so soon, not when they had barely even started! Harry was only just beginning to get to know this man behind Snape, this Severus. He couldn't let him go that easily, not now. If he let Severus back out now, things would never be the same. They would never get another chance. And Harry couldn't let that happen.   
  
Harry interrupted Severus on that thought track, eyes watering as he gripped the other's chin harder and offered an emotional confirmation to his soulmate.   
  
"Love waits for no man. And I will not wait for you, Severus."  
  
~  
  
Severus lowered his eyes to the floor, gaze skittering sideways as he attempted to pull away. He knew this was how it would happen. This was just slightly sooner than expected. Severus should have known better. However, as he moved to pull away, Severus was stopped by a young hand on his chin, pulling his gaze to meet emerald irises.   
  
"I will not wait for you, Severus. Because I cannot delay any love that I might have for you. I can wait for sex, sex is less important than you are to me. But I will not wait to love you, Severus. I may not really love you now, but I am rapidly growing to and I will not ignore that. Promise me that you won't pull away now, when we've only just started? We can wait for PDA, we can wait for a physical relationship but I will not deny my emotions until I graduate, and I will not allow you to do that, either. Do you understand, Severus?"  
  
Severus blinked, eyes wide at the unexpected onslaught of words. That had been unexpected, a shock to his system. The boy- man- was supposed to see reason, agree, and leave Severus behind. After all, Harry was a lot less invested in this relationship than Severus was. He was young, he should have been out partying and having one night stands. In fact, Severus had little doubt that was what the arrogant boy he had known would have done. It appeared that Harry had grown up, though. He was no longer the type that would do such things, if he ever was.   
  
"Yes. But, Potter-"  
  
"No. Stop. Stop right there. I don't care what most boys my age would jump at that offer, because I am me, not them. I want to try this out, Severus. You aren't perfect, but I'm starting to see you as close. Please, don't push me away 'for my own good'. I know what I want, Sev. And what I want is you."   
  
Severus stared into Harry's eyes as if he could find answers to his questions there. He knew that Harry was not lying. The boy really did think that he wanted Severus. But... no one wanted Severus. He was broken, faulty, malformed. He was supposed to be the lonely one, the one who stubbornly held on to unrequited love for lifetimes, never getting his love. This was too good to be true, even a chance was too good. But he would still cling to this. Surely Harry would come to his senses in time, but for now Severus would keep him. He would.  
  
"I- alright. I will accept this, for now. I am sure you will come to your senses in time, but if you choose to be masochistic in the mean time, I shan't stop you."  
  
Harry raised an eyebrow, but grinned.   
  
"Masochistic? I am hardly being masochistic by choosing to be with an attractive, intelligent man, Severus. If I weren't so happy I'd berate you for talking like that. As it is, I'll take a kiss then my leave."  
  
Harry stood on his toes, bringing his face level with Severus' and bringing their lips together. He had meant for it to be a chaste kiss, but once he felt those lips on his he couldn't stop. He moved his lips against Severus' and, after a few moments, Severus began to kiss back. Neither were very good or practiced, and as things heated up one would bite too hard or the other would push their noses together. Nonetheless, it was magnificent, and as the two pulled away minutes later they both bore red lips, missed hair, and flustered expressions.   
  
"You- you should go," Snape gasped between breaths, "it's after curfew and if you stay any longer I doubt we would adhere to the newly established rules of conduct."  
  
Harry nodded, harried, and hurried to the door. He waved as he exited, calling out a "see you, secret lover" that had him giggling most of the way back to Gryffindor tower.


	5. Flying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A date. Valentine's day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I was worried that this one is a bit too pointless. But then I actually finished the damn monster and now it... still doesn't have a point. But it time lapses and it shows their growing relationship so that gives it a point, right? Eh. The point comes next chap.
> 
> It took me forever to write this. I lost some stuff and it just kept feeling too light and fluffy. But whatever. Here you go. Enjoy!
> 
> ~Kiro

The rest of January passed in a flash, except for a few incidents involving the soulmate revelation potion, whose formula was slotted to be released on February fourteenth. Severus thought the excitement was a bit ludicrous, but then again Amare Speculae had started his relationship with Harry so he couldn't condemn the excitement. He was just dreading the day that all the students started attempting to brew the thing, as doubtless they would. There would be many exploded cauldrons after the release date, he was sure.

The first two weeks of February sped by just as quickly as January. Harry and Severus would trudge through their classes, eagerly awaiting their remedial lessons on Mondays and Wednesdays and even more eagerly awaiting their Friday "remedial lessons" in Severus' rooms.

Their actual lessons went much as they had before, comfortable if slightly tense, productive, and actually improving Harry's score. The first time Harry made his potion correctly, he was held after class for a congratulatory kiss. The first time he received an E on an exam, their remedial lesson opened with a snog session. The reward system was working quite well, and Harry was working quite hard to see what reward he would get if he received an O on an exam.

Even with the merits of Mondays and Wednesdays, Fridays were each of the pair's favorite. Sure, Ron complained loudly about the greasy git keeping Harry from having fun on a Friday, and sure, Hermione gave him calculating looks every time he barely restrained himself from skipping out the portrait, but what happened there was worth it.

Harry would arrive outside Severus' rooms with a smile and Severus would nod and leave the door open as he turned back inside. Harry would follow him to the kitchenette and, once the door closed behind him, would receive a smoldering, if short, welcome kiss. They would then sit down to Snape's marvelous cooking and engage in scintillating conversation. Once done, they traipsed over to the armchair by the fire, where Harry would sit on Severus' lap (each time he did this Snape got incredibly flustered and tried to push him off, to no avail) and the two would talk until their kiss goodbye. All in all, it was the best type of night that either could dream of.

And now it was Valentine's day. The fourteenth of February, filled with love and red roses and normally the bane of both men's existence. Now, though, each found himself filled with anticipation.

They had arranged to meet for a special session that day. Harry had something special planned and Severus... Well, Severus had the medical salves at the ready in his rooms. He hoped that they wouldn't need to be used, but he didn't quite trust the young man to not arrange something dangerous.

Severus stood in muggle clothing, freezing his ass off, beneath a willow by the lake at six o' clock that evening. Harry had insisted on the early meeting time and odd attire as well as the meeting place. It only made Severus worry more.

"Hello, love."

Severus turned to see Harry, clad in his standard sloppy muggle layers, standing by a path into the woods.

"Hello. Might I ask what you have planned for this evening?"

Harry grinned and beckoned Severus forth, taking one hand in his.

"Well, I can't tell you anything just yet or I'll ruin the surprise. I will, however, show you."

He then proceeded to haul Severus down the path, into the Forbidden Forest, ignoring Severus's attempts to slow them down.

"What- the forest? The forest is incredibly dangerous, and I am much inclined to keep all of my limbs, Potter."

Harry grinned back at him.

"Oh, come on, I've been here loads of times. I can protect you, Sevvy!"

Severus scowled.

"I have not been called 'Sevvy' once in my entire life, and I do not intend to start now, you insufferable brat."

"Awe, but it's cute! What about Sev, can I call you Sev?"

With Severus deflected from complaints about the setting, they continued into the forest. The two bickered over pet names all the way down the path, and for each 'cute' name that Harry came up with, Severus managed to think of two vaguely insulting ones. When they reached a particularly large oak, Harry suddenly moved behind Severus and stood on tiptoes to cover his soulmate's eyes.

"Alright, now just close your eyes and follow my lead, alright? We'll just be moving straight ahead, and the path is clear from here on out so I promise you won't trip or run into something."

Severus huffed but complied, and the two walked slowly down the packed dirt path. Soon, Severus felt the sun on his face and felt a breeze on his skin, and determined that they had entered a clearing. Harry guided him forward a few more feet, then stopped.

"Okay, now I'm going to drop my hands but I want you to keep your eyes _closed_ and don't open them until I say so."

Severus grudgingly waited, listening to the rustle of leaves and Harry's clothes as the younger man moved around, as well as a light whispering and the shifting of- something larger than a human. What was that...

"Alright, you can open your eyes now, Sev."

Severus did exactly that- and nearly started right back down the path to whence they came.

"I sincerely hope that you were not intending for me to ride that beast."

"What, Buckbeak?" Harry patted the hippogryph's neck, making it stretch and begin to make an odd purring noise. "He's a big softy, he won't let you fall, and he is definitely not going to hurt you. Are you, Buckbeak?" The creature butted his hand with his beak, asking Harry to pet him.

"There is no way I am getting on that creature."

Harry glared half-heartedly at the stubborn professor.

"Look, I know that you don't like animals that much but this is amazing, trust me. Just think of it as trying something new. I'll be with you the whole time so you needn't worry about falling off. Besides," he grew an impish half-smile, "I just might make it worth your while."

Severus leveled Harry with an unimpressed look, but stepped forward none the less. When he was about twenty feet away from the speckled grey hippogryph, Severus bowed, waiting for the return bow before straightening and extending a hand. The creature left Harry's side, coming to slide beneath Severus's hand, positioning his wing beneath the appendage. Fascinated, he complied, stroking the smooth, hard wing feathers that were so less soft than he had thought feathers were supposed to be.

Behind him, Harry placed a hand on Severus's shoulder, using the other to cast a quick lightening charm and the two of them so as not to strain Buckbeak's wings. The hand on Severus's shoulder squeezed in reassurance, and the potions master found himself shifting back into the grip, relaxing slightly.

Buckbeak shifted his body, kneeling and lifting his wings so that the two men could climb on. Carefully, Severus lifted a long leg over the furred body and lowered himself onto the corded torso. He could feel Harry's thin frame settle in behind him as well.

With a jolt, the creature stood beneath them. Severus felt his long legs leave the ground and his breath caught in his throat as they began a jerky movement forward. Thin arms tightened around his waist and he curved his own arms around the hippogryph's neck, leaning forward and drawing the body behind him along his torso with his movements. He brought his body flush against the feathers, feeling his companion come to a similar incline along his back, and threaded his fingers through feathers, tightening his heels on the beast's flank.

They began to move forward, at first at a walk then faster, trees flying past before with a jolt they left the ground. Another jolt and another followed as Buckbeak flapped his wings in a struggle to get his magically lightened burden off the ground.

Severus felt a smile force its way onto his face as he felt the ground ebb away below them. The wind swept at his clothes as they swerved through the trees before emerging above them. The sight was magnificent, a long field of green leaves, and above, nothing but darkening sky. They swerved to the right, and a startled laugh came from Severus's throat, followed by a long and delighted crow of laughter from the body behind him.

The trees dropped away from below them and they flew over a barrier of pebbles bank before sweeping over the mirrored surface of the water. Looking down at the reflection, Severus could see the beast's underbelly, two pairs of legs, and two smiling faces over a background of grey wing. He raised his face again, looking out with the sky that reflected itself in the lake. Broad slashes of pink cloud sprayed across the sky and water, backed by sky of yellow and orange.

Soon, the lake was left behind and the two sailed toward Hogwarts. Wind whistled through feathers and hair of the three companions. Though he was loathe to admit it, this was most probably the most fun that Severus had had since... Well, ever, really. He didn't do fun. As they drew closer to the stones, they turned left only feet from the grey wall. Buckbeak edged closer and closer, daring and risky, until his wingtips brushed the mortar.

They turned out over the courtyard, prompting screeches of fear, then delight, from the people below. The hippogryph swung up, over the rooftop, and again, in ever-tightening circles. At last, they landed atop a flat-topped tower, wings billowing out on either side as the creature skidded to a stop.

Loud laughs broke over the sky, bouncing off the clouds. It took a few moments for Severus to realize that there were two, one a light tenor that played in and out of the chest, and one a deep baritone, echoing through the chest and thumping into the solar plexus. He couldn't bring himself to care that he was the one showing his delight in such a way, though.

The warm weight that had been with him all through the journey slid off Severus's back. Harry stumbled slightly before righting himself and offering a hand to the potions master. He took the appendage, sliding off the animal and tripping into a thin chest, which he hugged tightly against his own. Behind him he was aware of Buckbeak taking his leave, but he found himself too busy to care. After all, here was a perfect boy right in front of him and those eyes glinted like jewels in the dying sun, just begging to be stared into.

Harry smiled, looking up through his rectangular lenses at the man in his arms.

"I take it that you liked that, then?"

Severus hummed in agreement, lowering his face to nuzzle at the younger's nose before pressing his lips to his in a light kiss.

"Oh, yes. I believe so. However," with this he grabbed Harry's thighs, pulling them out and up so that the teen was hanging off him, clinging tightly to his torso as his legs wrapped around Severus's narrow hips. Harry let out an undignified squeak, clinging tightly so as not to fall, and Severus smirked softly, "I think that we still need to get to the dungeons for our candlelit dinner, no?"

Harry shook his head, smiling, as he dropped to the ground, pulling something silvery from his bag. He swept the fabric over the both of them before hopping back up into Severus's arms. At the man's incredulous eyebrow raise, he winked, then laughed as they began to jerkily descend the stairs toward the dungeons.

~

In the end they really did need the healing salves that Severus had prepared for the occasion. Severus's arms had finally given out about two floors away from the dungeons, leaving Harry to splay himself all over the floor. Luckily, he only ended up with a few scrapes and bruises and Severus's hurt pride.

As the portrait of Salazar Slytherin swung open to reveal Severus's rooms, the first thing Harry noticed was a bright red column of flames in the center of the sitting room. The pewter cauldron containing the Everburning Elixer had been freshly scrubbed, leaving a bright gold sheen to match the crimson fire.

It took about two seconds, enough time for the portrait to finish swinging open and for Severus to eye Harry warily, for the Gryffindor to begin laughing uncontrollably.

Giving a half-hearted death glare, Severus shoved the young student through the doorway and slammed the portrait shut. Harry barely noticed, he was so busy laughing entirely too much. Severus stalked over to the medical supplies and applied the salves to the still-laughing young man. In fact, the boy was still laughing three minutes later when Severus glared at him and threatened to remove the offending cauldron from his rooms, causing Harry to sober.

"No- no- I just- Gryffindor colors in your rooms, I can't even tell you how precious that is."

Harry finally sat in one of the wooden chairs to either side of a polished wooden table. Severus harrumphed and sat opposite, folding his hands upon the wooden surface.

"I thought that it would be appropriate lighting for the holiday, without being overly gaudy. Red, for blood, flesh, hearts, and tongues."

Harry eyed him with a grin.

"Yeah, I suppose so."

~

The dinner was beautiful. Severus had placed a special order with the house elves for a rib-eye dinner and red wine, and it was definitely the best meal that Harry had ever eaten at Hogwarts. They spoke of all sorts of things, school, brats, friends, the future. By the time that Harry exited his beau's rooms, he had what felt like a permanent smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, by the way, with Buckbeak. Never, ever pet a bird below the neck or above the foot. That includes the wings. It's considered sexual and you'll either get a chunk taken out of your hand or some very unwanted attention. I had Sev pet Buckbeak's wing because I thought it fit, NOT because you should ever do that in real life. Ever. Just thought you might like the trivia!


End file.
